Eating, The American Way.

So now I have been able to relax in San Francisco and get more accustomed to the American way. And I must say, it has begun to soften me.

I was even willing to look past having to constantly pick hair out of my food.

Fistfulls of the stuff, how do you have any left on your bodies?!

Maybe these people have earned their independence, all on their own they invented  the airbag, napalm and scrabble. I was all ready to remove my iron boot from above this unsuspecting (yet simultainiously paranoid) nation, but then I saw this a few streets from Caitlin’s apartment-

Such... flagrant insolence! Using our own sweet Brown Ale against us, and what on earth is that huge billboard doing at street level?!

I wasn’t going to mention this, but at Christmas I beat Caitlin, her Dad and her Grandma at scrabble. That’s right, three generations of an American family got owned in one game (and as previously mentioned, their own game), and that is just the start America!

So this week I’ll focus on American food, in particular Californian food.

Firstly, San Francisco is surrounded by water, with the Pacific Ocean on one side and the bay on the other, sea food is a big deal here. Shrimp, crab and lobster are available most places and always come big and tasty.

Wikipedia tells me that San Francisco is 33% Asian, 20% are Chinese, which has a big impact on the cuisine here. The city is covered with Chinese restaurants, sometimes several on one block, and the competitive nature of a market that saturated means great food and great prices.

Fuse that eastern influence with the sea food aspect and there are some amazing sushi places all over the city. My personal favourite sushi dish is the Dragon Roll, which normally is made with rice, avocado, cucumber, eel and crab. It may also include sesame seeds, nori and wasabi. Plus I like showing off how good I am at using chopsticks.

Another important element is Mexican food, because until the mid 19^th century California was still part of Mexico. The way the economy is going America might have to sell it back to them.

I am a huge fan of Mexican food, particularly burritos and tacos, and it is really something that England is missing out on.

That is enough of the cultural angle, now for the roasting (food pun, get it?)

What is that you ask? Of course I have been here less than three weeks and already seen competitive eating! You can’t claim your food is better Britain’s if you don’t bother to taste it before swallowing it.

This photo has not been modified at all.

The sport of competitive eating is almost totally dominated by America and Japan (and yes it is an officially recognised sport), and as horrific as that sounds, a little innocent part of me can’t understand why we can’t resolve every international conflict this way.

Funny story, from 2001 to 2006, a young Japanese man Takeru Kobayashi dominated the annual hotdog eating contest that had been a Coney Island tradition for over three decades. Not to be outdone, the Americans made him compete against a 1,089 pound, 8 foot Alaskan Kodiak Bear. The bear was from Alaska so it totally counted. I’ll let you see how it turned out in this video; it is a real insight into American attitude towards sports and foreign diplomacy; use a bear!

One odd aspect of eating out in California, is that in every eating establishment there is this sign in plain view-

“Chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer, or birth defects or reproductive harm may be present in foods or beverages sold or served here.” At first this was very alarming, but Caitlin was quick to reassure me that the government requires anywhere that uses a chemical from the list in Proposition 65 must display this sign. It just so happens that the list includes over 1,400 chemicals, including Mustard Gas, Lead, and good old fashioned Alcohol, so expect to see this terrifying sign anywhere you want to eat in California.

It isn’t all bad news; in America KFC offer catering!

There is just something beautiful about knowing that at any time I can order $899 worth of fried chicken and having one item appear on the receipt. If that photo doesn’t have great resolution, which includes 400 pieces of chicken, 15 gallons of side dishes and 200 buttermilk biscuits. This truly is the land of dreams... and awful, awful heart problems.

Finally, I would like to point out that a few streets away from the original Newcastle Brown Ale billboard I saw, there was a notice board, advertising pets, tutors, clubs and such. But one particular notice caught my eye...

Amy, out of the kindness of her heart (and upon payment of $150) will teach you how to prepare and eat your placenta after giving birth. She has only done this once before, but she is very excited about having the opportunity to poison you with your own dead insides!

Amy goes on to say that the placenta is a source of iron, B Vitamins and proteins, but I should point out that so are plenty of things that aren’t horrifying and disgusting.

I will absolutely take a Cornish pasty over that any day. Bon appétit.